Thought of talking to you today…
Several times during the day…
Today is not a good day to do so!
Bad memories are too fresh today!
Every time I thought of you, I got angry.
Felt hurt by your words…
Yesterday was…
God! Hate this feeling!
Felt hurt and disrespected!
And today you asked me that…
Why didn’t I sleep well?!
Why do you think?
Went to bed angry!
That’s why I couldn’t sleep.
Spent all night and day thinking what I should do about it.
I’m afraid of what I might say if I talk to you!
Maybe I should say everything I’m feeling and thinking…
But no!
It wouldn’t help!
It looks like I’m not enough for you.
You need fire, as you said.
I’m not fire baby.
I’m earth and water.
With that you get clay.
With clay you can build a life.
Clay protects and supports you.
Fire might give you an initial push to begin the journey.
However, when you look back after some footsteps it won’t be there anymore.
Clay has no fire…
Clay keeps by your side, as long as you want to.
But it isn’t enough for you!
It’s good to know that now.
I’m not fire!
I am who I am!
And baby, who I am as no motiv to regret or to be ashame.
All I ever asked you was love and appreciation.
That’s what I have for you.
But you don’t want it!
Thank you for sharing that with me.
I was angry yesterday.
All day feeling angry…
And now, I feel grateful!
Grateful for everything we lived together!
Grateful for this life lesson you offered me!
You taught me that I deserve someone that appreciates me.
I am worthy of true love!


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