Once upon a time, there was a young woman that ask herself “Why am not happy?” and “Why can’t I be more like she wish for?”
It could be a fairytale, but it isn’t.
It was more than once that I asked myself those questions and some others like those. However, one time is enough to learn. We just need to be aware of the lesson.
You know, I was using the right question word and asking the wrong question. I should be asking “Why do I do what I do?”.
Do you want to know why?
The feeling that was pushing me down in my spirit was frustration, because I believed that I didn’t had what I deserved.
I felt frustrated because I was working just to pay my bills at the end of the month. Added to it, I was doing everything someone else wanted, without listening to my needs.
And why? Why was I living like that?
Fear of not meeting commitments.
Fear of not meeting expectations.
Are commitments and expectations more important than my inner drive?
Back to that belief: I didn’t had what I deserved.
That’s a lie! I was getting what I deserved. After all, I was underestimating my well being and overestimating what others might think of me if I “fail”.
How could I feel good, happy, joyful if I was hurting myself, if I was disconnected from my true self?
Was I taking care of myself, really taking care of myself?
No. I was taking care of the image, the mask, I wanted everyone to see and appreciate.
But why do we create this mask?
Because we are looking outside of ourselves, instead of looking within.
How many times do we wish or hear someone wishing to be like someone else?
With this wish in mind, is it possible to be happy?
If we look to our society today most of us are trying to be someone else. And that’s so bad for society, because we’re denying who we are to become someone else. Someone we believe to be really happy, because they have everything.
Do they? Do they have everything?
First, they are not happy because they have everything. They look like they have everything, because they are happy and full of joy.
Do you know why?
Because they are receptive to everything in life. They give it all. And most important, they truly accept who they are. They are not trying to be someone else. They are connected with their true self.
Do you really think that those people that look happy have everything they need?
No. The trick here is to enjoy life as it comes. Enjoy means there is joy in it. They don’t ground their joy in lack. What they do is root their actions in their inner joy. They put their joy in everything they do. And, of course, they receive what they give!
So, if we give joy, we receive joy. If we give lack, we receive lack!
Trying to be someone you’re not hurts society. Society doesn’t need fake people full of the same fake qualities. Society really needs to have different kinds of people that are authentic and grateful to be who they are.
And what is joy?
Joy is Love.
Joy is a spontaneous energy called Love!
A spontaneous energy imprinted in our sells.
We are always looking at what we don’t have, waiting to be full of joy the moment we get it. Joy is not a result of something. To see joy as a result, pushes it away from us.
Instead we should be enjoying and appreciating what we do have, because joy is a state of mind. Joy is within us, not outside ourselves.
Do you think you don’t have what you need?
You do! Right now, you have everything you need to become your better self and unveil that inner glow called joy.
What you don’t have is what you want, what you think makes you feel joy!
And now a word to those who are thinking that this is all some bullshit from someone that has everything and never had any problem whatsoever.
I could tell you all the obstacles I had in my life but I prefer to say that I always had food on the table, had a roof over my head, parents that love me, siblings that I know are there for me, friends that make me laugh sometimes and make me crazy other times… I could say I have everything. Yes. I always did! At least, by my point of view!
However, I already felt like I had nothing, because I was out of a job, I had no money, was living under my parents roof, not married, without kids, no car or house of mine. A complete failure, right!?
Do you know what made me see myself in a different way?
An image! A simple and somehow cruel image of a smiling kid in a miserable country somewhere in the african continent.
After a short meditation, I had a flashback of my life and my attitude throughout life. The moment I started feeling miserable and pity of myself, I remembered the image of a small skinny swollen belly kid in the middle of nothing surrounded by crows.
He knew he was dying. He knew the moment he stopped those rotten meat eating crows would wipe out his flesh in seconds.
And I’m here saying he was a he. But I don’t know. It might be a she! It doesn’t matter, really.
A kid living that reality!? God! Why? How can that happen?
No. The right question is: how can I pity myself? How the hell can I feel miserable by not having whatever after seeing that reality?
Joy isn’t smiling when you want to cry. If you want to cry, cry!
Joy isn’t something that you get when you have everything.
Joy isn’t being smiling, dancing and denying what is happening to you.
Joy is the faith and the love you put into yourself while going through the worst obstacles.
Joy is acknowledging your wounds, your fears, your failures, your obstacles and continue your path with awareness, strenght, love and faith in you and everyone else that comes in your way.
How can we unveil the joy that lives within us?
Every time people talk about joy, they talk about having things.
“The moment I have that promotion, the moment I have that car, the moment I have that house, the moment I find a job, the moment I get married, the moment I have a son… then I’ll be happy. Not now, just then. So, I have to do everything in my power to get there.”
We are always looking outside of ourselves, expecting that someone else or something else fills our being with joy – “I lack love to be happy, so I have to find someone that loves me” or “I lack self esteem, so I need to have a good house, a good car, a happy family and a tremendous job for others to feel that I am worthy!”.
It doesn’t work like that.
Joy is a state of mind. It’s a growing path. It’s not something that happens, that you buy. It is something we discover deep down inside ourselves through self knowledge, self love and self compassion.
So, first things first: LOOK AT YOURSELF, instead of looking at others. LOOK WITHIN YOURSELF and love yourself. And understand YOU ARE UNIQUE AND WORTHY OF RESPECT AND LOVE.
Who said that you have to be perfect to be loved? No one.
As you came into this world you received a gift, THE GIFT OF LOVE – you received the right to love and be loved, you received the right to be worthy.
And this is garanteed by birth, not by perfection!
Because you are made of love, joy and worthyness.
It’s who you are.
So, you don’t have to look for joy or love or worthyness outside yourself.
Instead you have to look within yourself and appreciate the beautiful being you are and let it come out and flood the world.
Let it come out!
Love, joy and worthyness are imprinted in your holistic cells.
So, let them be free and share it with the world.
Free yourself from that fear of not being accepted and light up the world with your unique self.