Choose to Be Happy!

The street door slammed violently against the threshold.
An angry man went downstairs.
He grumbled as he mistreated the railing with his left hand and trampled every step.
He got in the car and left at full speed, with no apparent direction.
Upstairs, a nervous woman, tired of all the fighting.
Wandering around the house while fighting her own thoughts and emotions.
She wanted to disappear.
Every day, he’d find some excuse to scream and curse.
She couldn’t hear him, anymore.
The doorbell rings.
It isn’t long, so it’s not him.
It’s Sara. She ask to come over and get her hair done.
The list of accusations begins as soon as she enters.
All her hurt poured on her friend.
«Nothing is ever right for him», that’s what you hear the most.
«First it’s the lunch, then the clothing, or whatever the hell.»
The friend looks at her with a calm and understanding gaze.
«I spend the day cleaning up his mess. He is killing me!» she says.
Sara, uncomfortable with everything she is saying, asks her:
«Do you still Love him?»
Key question, to which Cecilia has no answer.
«Did you ever Love him?»
«Yes, we were mad about each other.»
«What happened? You loved each other and now you don’t Love each other anymore?»
Cecilia looked immediately at the floor.
«Truly, what do you feel for Bernardo?»
«I don’t know.»
«What made you fall in Love with him?»
«Oh! I loved… he was so genuine. He never hid his feelings. Sometimes he was a little inconvenient, but even then I thought he was funny.»
«Why then do you now reject everything that has made you fall in Love with him? What has happened?»
«I don’t know! He is annoying! When he comes home and opens the door, just the key’s sound are nerve wrecking. I immediatly think “there goes my quietness”!»
«So, get a divorce!»
«It is easy for you to say that!»
«Really! You have no children, you’re always fighting, constantly disrespecting each other and you don’t even know what you feel for him. Why continue this torment?»
«Oh Sarah! This is not easy. It may seem easy, but it isn’t!»
«Oh my dear, if it was easy, it would not be a learning experience. And learning is challenging to promote the transformation necessary for our life.»
«And what can I do?! He keeps arguing. He doesn’t change. He’s stubborn!»
«Nothing! To change him, you can’t do nothing. He has the temper that he has and only he can change it, if he understands that he must. That is his responsibility. It’s his choice. Your responsibility is to understand what you’re doing in this relationship and whether it still makes sense to you. There was a day when you loved him for being who he is. Do you still Love him? And do you want to continue living that Love?
«I think so…»
«Then accept. To Love is to accept and take care of the ones you Love, with all your heart and soul, without judging, without controlling, without imprisoning.»
«I don’t know! I don’t know what to do. I don’t think he loves me! If he ever did…»
«That’s fear talking! A few minutes ago, you said you were crazy about each other. Cecilia, every marriage has its problems. The truth is, you can’t stick your head in the sand like an ostrich. Problems will continue to exist, and only tend to grow if you don’t do something to change it. And that’s scary!»
«What?»
«It scares you both! You still Love each other, you’re just tired of routine. And you’re too afraid to take a step out of this routine. You’re afraid of making mistakes. You both forgot that life is made up of choices. Neither right nor wrong, only choices.»
«I’m not afraid! I pity him. He has no friends, he doesn’t get along with anyone. He gets into trouble with everyone. I think only your husband has the patience to put up with him.»
«David loves Bernardo. They have been friends for many years, because they accept each other as they are.»
«I know. David is a great friend, but Bernardo is very conflicted. And I am sorry because of that. He suffers a lot when people turn away from him.»
«Feel no pity. Feel gratitude. Gratitude for the opportunity to learn to distinguish between what is your responsibility and what is not.»
«But he is my husband. I don’t want him to suffer. Not even his family wants to connect with him.»
«You have said what you don’t want. Tell me what you want!»
«I want… I want him to be the man I always loved.»
«He is the man you always loved. You just can’t see it, because you insist on seeing only his faults. And he does the same! You’re both trapped in the chaos you have created in your life. And you insist on not choosing to get out of this chaos. Every time I ask you something, you point it at him. And you? What can you do to change your life?»
Cecilia didn’t know what to reply.
«My dear friend, to Love you have to be Happy. And to be Happy, you have to accept with an open heart, even when you receive something you do not want. And sometimes happiness lies in traveling until your eyes meet again. Even if, for this, it is necessary to miss each other first. That is the secret to a Happy marriage! Does it make sense?»
«It does!»
«So, my dear, the choice is yours!»